The Habits and lifestyles of a nymphomaniac
by Code name Messiah
Summary: Seto confesses all!
1. 1

The habits and  
lifestyles of a nymphomaniac  
  
  
  
By Seto Kaiba.  
  
  
  
  
  
This is an extensive but personal research on, as the titles describes the habits and  
lifestyles of a nymphomaniac. Why am I writing such rubbish? Well it's more of  
a way for me to document and evaluate the nature of one Katsuya Jounouchi, my  
boyfriend. Yes, yes it isn't a typo; I Seto Kaiba am gay. Although Jounouchi is  
much aimed to prove I'm bisexual since I take an interest in watching straight  
porn with him. I'm still not sure on his theory however, what man doesn't watch  
porn? In any form for that matter.  
  
This is also to evaluate myself as a person as well; I don't really think I could write a  
diary so typing things about myself with Jounouchi is more bearable.   
  
I'm still rather irked by the fact that…there are already stories about us on the net as  
we speak. I've found places that have so called "fandom" about  
Jounouchi, myself, and even all of his friends. I knew we appeared on  
television a few times due to popular duels but…this is actually scary. There  
are even stories about our lives in Egypt, to which I'm not even sure what went on.  
There are also websites that sell comics and fan drawn pictures of Jounouchi  
and me together! Some of them I have book marked…for further reference of course.  
  
  
Since I have  
the opportunity I'm going to set some things straight.   
  
1.  
I am not a rapist.  
  
2.  
I do not love my brother "that way"  
  
3.  
I am not a human being void of emotion…. I just tend to be moody.   
  
4.  
Jounochi is not stupid. He's actually very clever, and what's worse is, he  
knows it.  
  
5.  
I'm not always evilly plotting something. It gives me a migraine.   
  
6.  
I stress number 1  
  
7.  
Jounouchi's father doesn't beat him nor did he ever rape him.   
  
8.  
I would love Jounouchi even if he were.   
  
9.  
Yes I said love. I love Jounouchi.   
  
10.  
Jounouchi actually loves his father; it's his mother who's a bitch.   
  
11.  
I don't have an obsession with dominating Jounouchi, not a strong one anyone  
  
12.  
I stress numbers 1 & 2  
  
  
  
I understand that my appearance is very dominating, but it doesn't mean I don't  
like the bottom every once in a while none of us are so pure that we don't  
masturbate, Yugi included. If a man's dick isn't in his head, his hand is glued  
to it.   
  
Now I also have some questions if any of you who read this. (Which I know you will.) Will  
answer them.  
  
Why is Jounouchi's life always so tragic? Are many of you sadists? You seem to feed  
off angst. Are many of you nymphomaniacs yourselves? There is ever an abundance  
of PWP what the heck does June mean?   
  
  
  
I have many more but I don't wish to loose focus.  
  
Like I explained, I'm documenting this more for myself than for others to read. It's  
very hard to understand a person like Jounouchi. He has the graces of a dancing  
breeze, but in the same breath he's the most unruly of brutes. Before I delve  
too deep, maybe I should explain how the two of us met in the first place.   
  
Most of you do have your stories straight. Jounouchi and I weren't really the best of friends,  
not even friends at all. Yet we never hated each other, just slightly enough to  
annoy one another. I was really fed up with trying to make friends; it was such  
a hassle. Every one was so wary of me. The image of Seto Kaiba before the real  
me, was something I could never bet. So I became, isolate, distant, antisocial,  
anything to just get people away, it seemed to be the only thing I was expected  
to do and even really good at any more. So fine, let the people have their cake  
and eat it to.  
  
So that's how things were for a while, a long while actually. It was easy at first to say  
fuck off to the world…but being a teenager with hormones…a gay teenager with  
hormones; I was slowly driving myself insane. It was so obvious in fact; a  
little blonde former adversary was worried about me. I can recall just how it  
happened.   
  
The sun painted the sky with an array of orange and red hues, colors of rusty blood._  
_The school day was long over, but I stayed, some how finding the library a  
little more comforting to go over some business proposition. I didn't realize  
how long I had been there until I felt a frail hand, clasp against my shoulder.  
  
  
"Kaiba-san."

  
Her voice was a frail as her hand. "Were going to close up, you should  
head home now." The older woman smiled kindly, rubbing her palm along the  
curve of my shoulder.  
  
I nodded in apology gathering my many papers and folders into my brief case. I walked down  
the empty isle only comforted by the sound of my echoing footsteps. I really  
had no one else, no one at all. I was alone. I could only cling desperately to  
the relationship I had with Mokuba. How long would that last me? (Rule number  
2) I was so deep in thought I never noticed that some one followed me all the  
way to the school parking lot, taking wary steps. There I saw his blurred  
reflection in the car window, why was he here? I knew Jounouchi wasn't the most  
cultured of characters but he wasn't here to mug me or anything right? I don't  
think I would have cared either way.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
I called over my shoulder, fixing my briefcase into the car. And then there again I only had  
silence. He just sort of stood there, looking as though he was pondering the  
complex meanings of the universe before he actually spoke.  
  
"Look I know it's none of my business, I know you're just going to say "leave me  
alone you mutt." Any way but I gotta ask or Yugi will never stop bugging  
me. Are you alright or what, you look like crap."  
  
I had a million and one ways to respond to this question. But before I did I caught my  
image in the car window as well. Sure it was as blurry and as reliable as a  
circus funhouse mirror but…I looked horrible. Maybe this was my beautician  
offered those cucumber packs and a new hair cut…(Shut up) So I caved in, like a  
strained wet paper I folded over, I turned around slumping along the side of my  
car not caring how the buttons of my trench coat would ruin the finish. I  
wouldn't wear the troublesome thing if it didn't make me look so dashing.   
  
"Do you want to know the truth? The god's honest truth make inu?" I threw my hands  
up in exhaustion and of this tiring and boring charade.   
  
"Uh….well…..yeah."  
  
"The truth is I am nothing as I appear and everything I am not. My life is filled to  
the top with contradictions and I can't stand it! I was never loved as a child,  
my parents spanked me, no one hugged me, I never had a positive role model in  
my life, I never had a childhood, I blame society, I blame my parents, I blame  
rap music, I blame Ben Afflict, I blame the world and all that other shit that  
every one else says! Shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, cunt, mother fucker, whore,  
bastard, bitch, slut, and other such obscenities!!"   
  
The look on Jounouchi's face was priceless. He just stood there utterly flabbergasted (I  
love that word) at my raving lunatic mode. I was pacing back and forth and my  
hands waving in the air like a mad man. It felt good to say those things even  
though it didn't really mean anything at all. And when it all came out I sat on  
the ground and put my head between my knees. I think I was hyper ventilating.  
As I was breathing the air for everything it was worth, I heard him laugh at me,  
really laugh at me. No, really, he was bent over pointing and everything. I  
thought it was very rude whether those things that I said were true or not. I  
remembered why I disliked him so as I tried to get in my car.   
  
"Hang on money bags." He shouted exalted as he wiped a stray tear from his eye.  
(Urge to kill rising…) He clamped his hand over my shoulder. "You're even  
more messed up than I thought, all that stuff really bothering you?"  
  
I attempted my most vicious glare. I actually made the vice president of the McDonalds  
Japanese division wet himself. He wasn't going to put the little toys they have  
in the meals at Kaiba land. I was understandably upset.   
  
He just smiled at me still chuckling to himself. "What're you doing?"  
  
"Being menacing, now if you don't mind I have more important things to glower  
at."  
  
"Aw don't be so sensitive."  
  
"You truly want to die today don't you?" He tried to look at me seriously, but  
he ended up laughing again. I had, had quiet enough revelation for one day, I  
sat down in my driver seat, and there across from me was that pathetic dueler.  
  
"Just what in the blue fuck are you doing in my car!!" Again he laughed, what  
was so goddamn funny?  
  
"Aw man I can't take you seriously any more. Your loosing your cool Seto, something  
really is wrong with you."  
  
"Wrong with me? Wrong with ME! I'll show you wrong with me!!" I don't know what  
posed me to do this but I had always wondered what it was like to drive in  
American, so I did it all through Japan. Amidst the honking, cursing, tire smoke, and  
screeching, I heard Jounouchi's panicked screams as he clutched to the interior  
for dear life. I didn't mean to do it…I really didn't, I may be depressed but  
I'm not suicidal, there are to many people I want to make miserable myself  
before I die…namely Martha Stuart. She could have told me the stock was going  
to plummet but no; she had to be a stingy fucking whore.  
  
I made it all the way home with ho cops behind me…must have been my personalized KAIBA  
licensee plate. Both of us were panting now, I couldn't seem to let go of the  
steering wheel either.  
  
"What the hell was that all for, you could have killed us!!"  
  
I don't remember much after that, it was all just noise in my head and a blur of color,  
was I having an episode? Next thing I know I'm laying on my couch with that  
mutt fanning me.  
  
"Hey you're coming around!"  
  
"Go away."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just go away, you've seen enough of me for one day haven't you?"  
  
"Jeez, moody!" (See?)  
  
"Look just tell Yugi I'm fine, why the hell does that little kid worry about me of  
all people anyway!"  
  
"Well he's a good guy with a big heart; it's hard for him not to care. But …to tell  
you the truth, it wasn't really him at all."  
  
"What?" I tried sitting up which took much more of an effort than I thought.  
  
"Well I was …the one who was worried, you hadn't said anything mean in a week, and you  
started to look terrible. I thought maybe something happened to Mokuba so I  
came to ask."  
  
Ah the sincerity… it was killing me. I didn't want to deal with it now, my head was  
hurting too much, and I felt like having a good my life is a shit hole cry. I  
couldn't have him here with that now could I?  
  
"Just go I'll resume the name calling Monday alright?"  
  
"Ok money bags, just one question."  
  
"And that is?"  
  
"What's this?"  
  
He had that little all knowing smirk on his face as he held up a black tape and my heart  
stop.   
  
"Th….that!"  
  
"Yes I happened to kick it trying to get you on the couch there."  
  
He looked like he was either going to black mail me or bust out laughing; he must have read  
the label. Damn I am to use to not having Mokuba here after I sent him to that  
duelist training…thing!  
  
"Where the girls aren't? There's something about Gary?"  
  
He read the title out and started to snicker. "So this is why you're so anal, haven't  
got any one to do you huh?"  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" I screeched… he was pushing on a tender subject and I was  
already so emotionally wrecked, he has no morals. One snide comment after the  
other and I nearly felt like crying right in front of him, as I wrung his neck  
of course. But the fool wouldn't stop laughing, so I sat down on the couch and  
confessed I didn't care who he told or what he said, I just wanted him to go  
away. But I didn't expect this…he came up to me and touched me… he slid his  
hands along my face and just smiled at me, pushing me down on the couch.  
  
"You can be such a jerk." I felt his body on mine, oh god what is going on.


	2. 2

……Morning…..God what time is it.  The stupid mutt must have been having his rabbit chasing dream and kicked me out of bed.  Oh well maybe I can write a little more.  I know you all must be wondering what happened next no?

Well before I get with it I would like to respond to all those that have made their comments to me.  

To Hyatt Insomnia: From what Messiah tells me your are as wonderful of a reviewer as you are a writer, please keep giving her that wonderful encouragement.  

To Duet-sama aka Britt Britt:  I will don't worry

To Atari and Menkou:  See above

To Ezra: Yes I liked it to; I honestly don't know what he sees in J-lo, another depression in the human spirit.  

To Taito kisses:  *chuckles slightly* Seto-sama will do just fine.  Also finding you in my bed is a nice touch too.  And I will write more.  

To Evil Yami Cream puff:  Yes it was fun to write it in my point of view, and I love you name.  

To Cassiby: Yes….well….alright

To Amai Shinigami:  Well she is……

To Insanity Eternal:  Oh really?  *takes out a note pad* please tell me

To Saiko Yasha:  Thank you for answering

To Midnight Scarlet:  Yes I would think no one else could write my life but me.

To Nekocin:  Yes……Jounouchi is clever………very clever.

To Hanami86:  Oh you poor thing, well I hope my little bit of computer scribble helps you.  Now make sure you use a hot back on your back for 10 minutes, and a half hour later a cold pack for 10 minutes.  The mutt popped his knee once; my ears were bleeding from all his constant whining.

To QueenV: Ah thanks so much for the input waahh ahhh put me down, Down I say!!

To Darkness Rising:  Thank you for having a similar opinion

I was so frozen in shock and anticipation, I just let him lay on top of me, the setting sun long gone so his features where hidden to me.  But his body heat was ever apparent.  I felt it at every inch of my skin, coursing all over me.  I didn't understand what was going on.

"Get off!"

"I will once you do."  He snickered.

"Katsuya….I will kill you if you don't, this is a sick joke."

"Who's joking, just shut up for once."  And I did….I didn't say more that two words when I felt his lips on mine, I just fought like hell.  

Sizing up Jounouchi.  I always thought I had the advantage; pound for pound I was the stronger one.  I don't know if it was my emotional state…..or the fact that I really wanted it but….it was like he had to fight a five year old, I was almost no match for him.  His body weight held me firmly in place as his hands were all over me.  I was actually scared, this couldn't be happening especially with him of all people.  What he finds that I'm gay and suddenly he wants me?  

His hand……was moving.

"Don't."

He actually seemed angry with me.  "Why not."

"What the hell do you mean why not?  You're ok with this?  I scowl at you, mock your friends and smirked at your misfortune and you want to screw me?"

And AGAIN he laughs at me!

"Man that didn't sound like you at all when you said that.  Your telling me you don't want it Seto baby?"  He wiggled his brown eyebrow at me

"That's exactly what I'm telling you!  And don't call me that.  So what if I'm gay I just don't want it from anyone!"

I shouldn't have said that…….

"Well that's fine, I'll go.  But….there is still this…"  He smirked pulling a little black object out of his pocket.  A Tape recorder.  I really shouldn't have said that.  And now he's waving that damn porno in my face too.  

"I got all this proof that….well….could destroy your very reputation right?"  His smiled deepened.  It was all a ploy, feeling concerned for me, the thing about Yugi, everything.  Well that's one point for Katsuya I must say.

"I've been itching to get something good on you Kaiba.  You have no idea how sweet this is gonna be."  He snorted as he got off the couch and sauntered to the door.  "If you don't want this little gem out and about, I better see you after school tomorrow."  With that he shut the door.

And now it's intermission with a snack from the kitchen.  I think pita bread, hummus and tomato will do nice


End file.
